The Widenening Gap
WHAT IS THE WIDENING GAP?
The “widening gap” is the distance we feel when something that once felt like a great fit no longer does.
The company that felt like the perfect match when we joined four years ago, that feels less and less so with each passing day.
The city that felt like our place for many years, but no longer does.
The friends who we love dearly and who we spent so much effortless time with years ago, but with whom we have less and less in common, as our lives take different paths.
The company culture that we lived and breathed when we first joined the organization years ago, but that we feel less and less connected to.
Is it us? Is it them? Maybe it’s both?
Did we change?
Did it (the city, the company, the friends, the culture) change?
Maybe it’s us.
Maybe it’s them.
Often, it’s both.
The past few years have changed many of us, even if in some small way.
We’ve had experiences that have shaped us.
We’ve observed, and participated in, changes in how we interact with each other.
We’ve watched other people change, too.
We stand on our side of the gap, observe the distance, and wonder if it can ever be closed.
Acknowledging this new reality may cause a bit of heartache, and likely, some grief.
If you are finding yourself navigating a widening gap of your own, know that you aren’t alone. Many of us are going through this —whether with a company, a community, or a culture that we might have even helped to build.
NAVIGATING A WIDENING GAP
The first thing we can do if we sense we might be part of a widening gap is to acknowledge that it exists.
The second is to have compassion.
The gap doesn’t mean that we are wrong, that they are wrong, or that it is wrong.
It simply means that we’ve changed.
And third, as always, we can consider: what do we want to create from over here?
Perhaps it’s a bit of outreach or repair to try to close the gap.
Maybe we have an opportunity to explore new cities or neighborhoods that will feel more like home at this stage in life.
Perhaps it’s some reflection about what we do desire in a company culture, so that if we pursue something new, we can find the best possible fit.
What do you think?
Are you finding yourself in any widening gaps of your own?
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