Feedback vs Complaints
A theme that has been coming up a lot within my circles lately relates to feedback.
Specifically, the difference between useful, actionable, constructive feedback that contains suggestions or input on *what could be better,* versus criticism or complaints on all that is wrong.
It is easy to stand on the sidelines and complain about what is wrong, or to criticize others for the actions they take or the decisions they make.
It takes much more skill to have a conversation about what could be improved, why it matters, and what could be possible if it was.
Within the context of expansive impact, we call this Truth + Heart.
I also appreciate Seth Godin's perspective on the topic:
"There are plenty of ways to get useful and constructive feedback. It starts with looking someone in the eye, with having a direct one on one conversation or email correspondence with a customer who cares. Forms, surveys, mass emails, tweets–none of this is going to do anything but depress you, confuse you (hey, half the audience wants one thing, the other half wants the opposite!) or paralyze you."
In some cases, surveys and forms can indeed be useful, either to identify high level themes and trends as a starting point, or if we work in an environment where there isn't enough psychological safety to have real, truthful conversations about what can be improved.
But in general, giving direct, honest, and kind feedback to, versus about, someone will often lead to greater impact.
If we are giving feedback, we can pause to check in with ourselves and consider: am I lobbing a complaint over the metaphorical fence, or am I taking the time to deliver kind, truthful, and constructive feedback that will help someone else grow, and lead to better outcomes for all?
What do you think?
Related reading
Sharing Feedback - Human nature is (often) to dwell on the bad stuff… this story is a perfect example.
Feedback as a Gift - Someone else is doing the legwork of picking out the gift, preparing the gift, and then being vulnerable enough to present it to us.
Thoughts on Sharing Feedback - Thoughts on sharing feedback and how we’re using our energy doing it.
Balancing External Feedback with Inner Truth - AKA how to rely less on other people’s opinion of us.
