GRATITUDE PRACTICES FOR THANKSGIVING AND BEYOND
Gratitude has become a bit of a buzzword the last several years. But underneath the cliche phrases (“Practice an attitude of gratitude!”) printed on wall hangings and throw pillows in home goods stores throughout the US, there really is something to it.
Studies have found that practicing gratitude can:
Lead to fewer aches and pains (Personality and Individual Differences, 2012)
Reduce a multitude of toxic emotions such as envy, frustration, and regret (Robert Emmons)
Enhance empathy and reduce aggression (University Kentucky, 2012)
Help us sleep better (Applied Psychology, 2011)
Improve self esteem (Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 2014)
Help us to overcome trauma (Behavior and Research Therapy, 2006) and increase resilience (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2003)
Be kinder to our romantic partners (Wiley, 2010)
Building a gratitude practice doesn’t need to be complicated or take a lot of time. There are many small but impactful ways that we can practice gratitude throughout our week. Here are a few.
GO FOR A GRATITUDE WALK.
Take a walk in the woods, around the neighborhood, or to the coffee pot if you’re crunched for time. While you walk, repeat the phrase, “I’m grateful for…..” and fill in the blank. Do this again and again and again, until your walk is over. Push yourself not to allow too many moments of silence. Stretch yourself to think bigger and more expansively about what you’re grateful for. It’s almost a certain mood booster; return to whatever you were doing before feeling a bit lighter and a bit more joyful.
PRACTICE FRIDAY FEEDBACK.
This practice was a gift from one of my mentors in the corporate world, which has stuck with me for over a decade.
One afternoon, reflecting on a tough day that we’d had, I asked her: “how do you remain so positive and optimistic during a time that's been so challenging?”
She answered, “ I practice Friday Feedback. Every Friday, before leaving, I make a point to share at least one piece of positive feedback with someone else. I either stop by someone's office, write someone a handwritten note, pick up the phone, or send an email and copy the person's manager. This is always appreciated by the other person - and perhaps more importantly, it helps me end my week on a positive note and stay connected to the good things, even during challenging times.”
OFFER POSITIVE FEEDBACK INSTEAD OF PRAISE.
Blanket statements like "great job!" or "you rock!" might feel nice in the moment, but they aren't actually very helpful for team members' growth. Instead, be specific when you appreciate others. Share what was great (a specific, observable behavior) and why it matters (the impact this had). When sharing positive feedback, we want to not only help team members to feel appreciated and valued, but also to help them to understand specific, repeatable behaviors that will help them grow and thrive.
START THE DAY BY LISTING THREE THINGS YOU’RE GRATEFUL FOR.
This is probably the most frequently offered tip when it comes to gratitude - “just list three things you’re grateful for!” - but it actually works. Overwhelmingly, I hear from clients that their day is better, their happiness is higher, and that they feel more grounded when they start the day with this simple practice. I find the same to be true for myself. It takes only a few minutes and can have a profound impact on how we feel for the rest of the day.
END THE DAY BY LISTING THREE GREAT THINGS THAT HAPPENED.
This can be particularly helpful for those of us who are constantly looking ahead to the next thing on the to-do list, the next area where we can grow and improve, and our next steps toward meeting our company’s year-end goals. Take a moment to pause, reflect, and write down the successes of the day. They don’t have to be big.
START MEETINGS WITH “THINGS TO CELEBRATE.”
Before diving into the agenda, the round of updates (side note: does the round of updates need to take place in a meeting - or could it be an email?), and the list of fixes to tackle, take five minutes at the beginning of your weekly team meeting to focus on things to celebrate. Often, people are reluctant to share their own successes in a group; this creates an opportunity where team members can recognize not only the successes of the team at large, but the successes of the individuals within it.
PRACTICE GRATITUDE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO BUG YOU.
This is not easy. Especially for the people who bug us a lot. But when we find ourselves irritated or triggered, we can ask ourselves, “what is this person reminding me to be grateful for?” or, “what gift is this person giving me?” Oftentimes, when we do, we find that there actually is a gift to be found via this person - whether a reminder to step up our own game, a reminder to stay connected to our values, or a reminder to practice kindness even in challenging circumstances.
WRITE A THANK YOU NOTE.
Keep a package of thank you notes and a sheet of stamps in your desk and in your bag. When you have a few minutes of downtime at the post office, the dentist, or while waiting to meet a friend for coffee, reach for a thank you note and a pen instead of your phone.
CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS IN PREPARATION FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
What are three things I'm grateful for?
What is something I'm grateful for now, that I wasn't grateful for at the time?
What's needed this year in my gatherings of family/friends?
How are our traditions working? In what ways might they need to shift to better serve us moving forward?
What is the purpose of this gathering? How can I honor this purpose with how I’m showing up?
What about you? Do you have a favorite gratitude practice, or a favorite way of creating time for gratitude during busy weeks?
Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving and season of gratitude.
