According to whom?

According to whom?

This is a question I often ask my dear clients - and, that I often ask myself.

When I hear statements such as ....

“To build a successful business, I need to be on social media.”

“To ‘reach people,’ I need to figure out tik tok.”

“I have to see clients at night and on the weekends.”

“I have to respond to every email that comes in within the hour.”

“I need to be at the meeting because I’ve always been at the meeting.”

“I should have my [life, career, relationship, finances] figured out by now.”

...my question is often, “according to whom?”

Many of the stories we tell ourselves are made up.

Others are part of a collective story that we jump on board with because everyone else is, and then we think that it’s ‘how it is’ or ‘how it has to be.’

And others are part of old narratives that simply might not apply anymore.

Oftentimes, we have choice around how it is, and how it could be.

Many times, we get to decide either all or part of the path forward.

An invitation: when we find ourselves thinking about what we ‘should’ do or ‘how it is,’ perhaps we follow up with the question: ‘according to whom?’

We get to walk our own path.

Some additional questions to consider include:

• Is it true? Am I certain? (hat tip: Byron Katie)

• Is this actually how it has to be - or am I telling myself that this is how it has to be?

• What if it could be different?

• How could I create my own path forward?

• What if it were easy?

• What if it were joyful?

• What does it look like to be in integrity to myself?