THE SECOND ROOM ON THE RIGHT: LEADING IN THE MOMENTS
The Gray Chairs
Last week, I went to a lab, which is part of one of the largest clinical laboratory networks in the world, to get a bit of routine lab work done.
I was called forward from my gray chair in the lobby by a dark-haired gentleman in a white coat. He opened the door to the hallway, and without looking at me, led me back to “the second room on the right.”
Once we were in the “second room on the right,” again, without looking at me, he instructed me to sit down in (yet another) gray chair —this one, with two folding arms that came down, like a small gray jail, in chair form. He proceeded to shut the arm of the chair forcefully— a not-so-subtle way of saying, “don't move.”
From his computer station, with this back turned to me, he verified my identity by asking for my birthday.
And finally, still without ever making eye contact, he proceeded to inspect both of my arms to find the best vein ("the right one is better," he said matter-of-factly), tie up my arm with a blue rubber cord, and draw my blood.
When we were finished, he once again (you guessed it) without making eye contact, led me back to the lobby.
Now, I understand that his job is to effectively, efficiently, and safely draw blood —and that his job is not to make friends, or even to be friendly for that matter.
However, a little bit of eye contact or a “Good Morning” could have gone a long way on a Friday morning at 6 am to build rapport and ease the nerves of someone like me who is squeamish about needles.
When I worked in healthcare IT, we heard this from patients regularly. The feeling of a provider having their back to their patients, typing away on the computer without ever acknowledging the patient as a human being is a pretty awful feeling.
Team members across industries say the same thing.
A feeling of connection with peers and leaders goes a long way.
This feeling of connection can be created through the simplest acts: a bit of eye contact, saying good morning, acknowledging someone by name, and remembering that the person in front of us is a human being —not a human “resource,” or in my case, a set of lab orders to be executed.
Eye Contact: A Deeper Dive
What are the benefits of making eye contact —whether in a customer service context, at a lab, or with our team members?
Here are a few.
Establishing Trust and Connection: Numerous studies have demonstrated that eye contact plays a crucial role in establishing trust and rapport between individuals. Psychologists have found that when we make eye contact with someone, it signals to them that we are engaged and attentive, fostering a sense of connection and mutual understanding. In social interactions, establishing trust through eye contact can lead to more meaningful and authentic communication, enhancing relationship-building and collaboration.
Enhancing Perception and Comprehension: Eye contact is not only about signaling attentiveness but also about improving comprehension and information retention. Research indicates that when we make eye contact with a speaker, we are better able to process and understand their message.
Nonverbal Communication and Emotional Expression: Beyond words, eye contact serves as a powerful tool for conveying emotions and intentions. Psychologists have observed that subtle changes in eye contact can communicate a wide range of emotions, from empathy and compassion to confidence and assertiveness. Maintaining eye contact during emotional conversations can provide reassurance and validation, facilitating empathy and understanding.
Improving Leadership and Persuasion: In professional settings, the ability to maintain strong eye contact is often associated with leadership qualities and persuasive communication. Leaders who maintain eye contact during presentations or negotiations are perceived as more confident, credible, and persuasive by their audience.
That said, it is important to acknowledge other factors, such as cultural considerations, context, and neurodivergence, as reasons why eye contact may or may not be present. For example, while direct eye contact is valued in many Western cultures as a sign of confidence and sincerity, in some Eastern cultures, prolonged eye contact may be perceived as confrontational or disrespectful. Others have shared that it might feel possible to smile or make eye contact, but not do both simultaneously. Our opportunity as leaders is to embrace both —opportunities to foster connection with those around us, while acknowledging the needs and capacity of those around us.
What do you think?
Are there any specific ways that you work to establish relationships and connections with those around you?
